30th

 It's my 30th this year

I don't know how should I describe my 30th years of life in this universe

It supposed to be amazing, I guess?

But if you were to ask me at this moment, how would I feel 

My answer would be, life is so scary.

Throughout this 6 months of my life, it was the most terrible months for me

Betrayed by my just-married husband

He has extra marital-relationship with another woman!

Can you believe it? I can't believe it!

It's so painful inside

Even though it has been 3 months now since I knew

It's so painful!

At that moment I know how ugly this world can be

I then know woman should be independent

We can't rely too much on men

Another painful thing that I came across is

He did another thing that I never ever thought he would do

He peaked others in shower!

Why did he do that!!!

I can't accept this!

Why can he do this...

WHY YOU BROKE MY TRUST IN YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN?!

"Should I report to police?"; "What should I do?"
These voice keep spinning around my head...

Why would you ruined my wonderful 30th?

Why would you become so scary...

Live Goal(s)

Browsed through my bloggie, I realised it has been around 3 years i did not update.
The last post is on October 2013! Gosh!
I'm sorry bloggie. I have ommitted you for such a long period.
I guess "you" won't angry me, right? =P

Time flies just in a blink of eyes (the usual sentence I used as I do feel time passes so so fast).
It has been 3 years.Things keep changing in this 3 years.
I graduated and been working for 2 years.
Besides, I have changed 3 workplaces.
Gaining working experiences in different workplaces;
get to know different character of people in this universe (it can be very scary).

Sometimes, I do think of my own live goals
Since I graduated Advanced Diploma, that is the question that keep spinning in my mind.
There are so many things I wish I could have done.
What are they?
I wish I could :-
- Get an ACCA certificate
- Get job satisfaction in workplace
- Get promoted
- To be fit and slim (Ideal weight would be 48kg)
- Travel at least once in a year to oversea (with my parents)
- Let my parents to stay happily (Father to retire)
- Join dancing class
- To purchase own house in KL
- To buy my own things with my own earned money
- To marry a responsible and man who loved me before 28 years old (Provided I love him too)
- To have 3 childens before 35 years old
- etc.

Actually, I do know that "If there is a will, there is a way".
I do know that if I want, I could have achieve my goals.
But....
Anyway, I'll give myself a try. =)
No worries, I know some of the goals will be achive in future.

Just keep going, Charl!

D.O.W.N

Mood down all of the sudden..
Look for people to chat with, but I couldn't found one..
Feel myself so friendless..
Feels like life is so meaningless.
What else I can do except work in the office?
What else I can do after work?
No chatting, no expressing feelings..
Just drama,drama and drama all the time..
And sometimes minutes,minutes and minutes...
How boring!

I read my best friend's blog before I started wrote this.
I then realised my friend is sick!
Quite serious I think.
Cause she needs six months to cure her sickness with medicine.
What sickness she get, I do not know..
I have not asked her yet.. and she didn't tell me..
haih.. Best Friend? hmm...

Just a random post for today..
I just need a forum/place to express out my feelings..
All those that I did not want to tell anyone..

Bloggie, Thank you for "listening"..

First Anniversary ♥

24 July 2013
It's our First Anniversary ♥

He gave me roses ♥

We went Cotmar Tropicale

Thank you.. ♥

As I always say... I Love You.. ♥

Happiness (?)

I just feel unhappy these few days..
feels like there are things inside my heart but I do not know how to express them out..
Argh! It's suffering
All I want to do is just a big big hug, and tear out as hard as I could..
I just want someone who is there for me, silently..

Somehow, I feel like something changed between me and him..
We could feel unhappy to each other because of a small matter..
 It will be our first anniversary in this coming 24 July..
I don't wish anything unhappy occurs between us..
Please, don't challenge us, Mr. God.

Hope everything goes well..

面对_接受_向前

In the interview,the interviewer ask me to introduce myself and say something about my weaknesses and strengths.

I would say that one of my weaknesses are lack of confidence.

I don't even know since when I became so coward.

I'm afraid and worry of everything.

My academic results, my relationship, 

even now my future career.

I even dare not send out the resume.

Gosh! It's terrible. Yea, I know, it's terrible.

I shouldn't be that way.

After I tell the interviewer about my story,

she analysed myself.

She makes me realised that I'm actually keep refreshing how well I am in the past,

and I actually did not move and and accept the changes that I'm facing.

After she said that, some pictures flashed through my mind.

What she said is true! 

Argh! I hate myself right now actually.

No, I have to make a change.

I have to accept and move on!

Come on Charl! You can do it!
Be brave and you will be proud of yourself!

These are some quotes to motivate myself.

Happy 11 Months ♥

24 June 2013 (Monday)

Yeap, it's today.
It's our 11 months together. =)

I'm blessed!
I feel thankful that I met him.
He is such a loving man.

Dear,
Thank you for loving me;
Thank you for caring me;
Thank you for enduring me;
Thank you for tolerating me;
Thank you for everything.

You do make me feel happy always,
Sometimes you did some stupid actions to make me laugh like mad.
(Other people thinks that you are cool) LOL
Actually you are not cool in front of me, you are a fool? haha

Dear, I Love You!
Happy 11 Months together!♥